Enjoyable sex is not about technique, orgasms, shape of your labia, or reliability of your erections. It’s about pleasure and closeness and any other emotion you want!
When people don’t enjoy sex, it’s often because they are focused on performance, feel body shame, or don’t give themselves permission to desire, want, or receive. Many people don’t even know what they want. They’re so used to seeking validation from their partner or are stuck with useless thoughts in their heads.
So they have sex when they’re tired, do the same safe thing they’ve done for years, and feel trapped and bored. Are you bored with your partner or with yourself? Getting out of the trap requires risk-taking and presence.
RISK Do and say what you’re afraid to do or say, because your partner could reject you . Be curious, communicate your feelings and emotions and turn-ons. Bet you won’t do it! Most people don’t. That’s why they’re bored or avoid sex. Get out of your comfort zone.
Ladies, how often have you endured unpleasant touch? No wonder yo don’t want sex! Speak up, please!! He can’t read your mind.
Men, how often are you more focused on your penis than on her? No wonder she doesn’t want sex! Focus on her to get her turned on and wanting sex. Learn about the clitoris (it’s 4” long, so if you don’t know that then google it please).
2. PRESENCE When you’re present, anything is enjoyable, even being in a tiny room with bars on the windows. Eckhart Tolle is wonderful in leading people to experience presence.
Be present with yourself, be present with your partner.